tomato club girl blog




it’s almost as if there is a pattern of misogynists and sexual predators being ajj fans and congregating at their shows

a handful of people seem to be re-blogging ajj’s post wondering if this post is about them/their experiences. this is not just about one incident (though it was initially of course). this is a fucking problem in the punk scene & it NEEDS to be addressed.

I want to add though that it’s SPECIFICALLY a problem of ajj, and members of the band have a reputation for this sort of behavior & lyrical content & encouraging these people, going back a very long time, and sean acting like it’s a problem of “the punk scene” and not him in particular (his friends, his behaviors, his treatment of women) is as much the problem



commenter “t-train”: I see you changed your mind about posting “Look How We Killed The Riot Grrrls”, presumably because you didn’t want to highlight (juxtaposed, as it was, on that 7”, with the cruel “Josie”) that dark place in your heart where you nurse your abiding hatred of punky girls.

sean tollefson: Not exactly T-Train. The link for the MP3 wasn’t working and my G5 died this morning. I just got home from the Mac store. I won’t have it back for 5 days (they tell me). “Hatred for punky girls?” Believe me when I tell you I loved the Riot Grrrl movement. Dig out your old Spin magazines - they called me the “riot boy.” “Look How We Killed The Riot Grrrls” was a meant as a joke because “Pop Songs Your New Boyfriend’s Too Stupid To Know About” had become such a ridiculous anthem - why not give it credit for destroying the Riot Grrrls as well? Listen to the lyrics…. there’s no way the song is smarter than you! It spells it all out! I’ll post it next week when my computer is fixed. p.s. I save the dark place in my heart for the truly awful indie-pop like Kissing Book, I would never waste it on the kick-ass punky girls.

rgr just linked me to this and i was like, “i know, i read it when i was 15” 


i would really really really love to read a piece or a zine of women’s stories of being in bands with awful dudes

i feel like athens could do this alone




I contributed to this article, compiled by Allison Crutchfield, that is a response to that crummy Noisey article, “How to Survive Being the Only Girl in a Band.”

I am so grateful to know and be among so many smart, talented, and fearless women

Earlier this morning I saw a photo a friend took at a show: a room full of angry-looking white men thrashing against a stage where a band of angry-looking white men played. Just seeing it brought up feelings I hate to feel, about danger & exclusion in a space where I seek to feel the opposite. Those feelings of measuring up to some standard I can’t control & don’t WANT to meet. Those feelings of needing to protect myself, emotionally/physically/politically, at points when I need to be most vulnerable. Those feelings that discourage me from taking risks. Feelings that I push away & that propel me towards making something better.

I am about to leave for a summer-long tour with my band & two other bands, and I will be the only woman playing music in that group. I love my friends & I love playing music with them, but there’s a lot that can suck about it & a lot of room for growth. Many people, well-intentioned or not, might not realize the complexities tied to being a feminist in an all-too male arena; it is so nice to read about the experiences of these cool & amazing musicians. Thanks for this, Allison.

even more discussion of the shitty article we spoke about yesterday! Featuring
You don’t always get to shower on tour and, as a girl, it’s much harder to pull off that unkempt, greasy look that makes guys seem so dangerous and rugged. When you’re playing small venues, a backstage shower or green room is often unheard of, but you are in a lucky spot. Everyone is a dude, so the ladies room is your personal backstage area until doors open.
wow it is so so “lucky” to be the only woman in a place, amirite, lucky you. it almost makes up for not being able to pull off that unkempt, greasy look as a silly woman right (x

it’s funny cause i was actually talking about this article earlier today with timebasedmetadatagod earlier today like ok THIS PART: “Think of all the things you hate in your best friends’ girlfriends—they whine, they make your friend leave early because they’re tired, they are bossy, judgmental, and cause drama.

this is just utterly incomprehensible to me. i have never, ever felt this way about any “girlfriend.” my experiences are like more like “think of all the things you hate in your best friends’ boyfriends - they don’t treat them well enough and are jerks.” 

honestly the only girls i have ever encountered who like ~repeatedly, intentionally cause drama~ are the same girls who say they cannot be friends with women because girls cause too much drama. 




I would like to preface this by saying that I do not typically encourage girl hate nor do I want to invite any sort of personal contempt for Mariel…but I find this article incredibly offensive for a number of reasons. I feel like it totally mocks an active struggle women in music face every day. it reinforces gender roles. it mansplains on behalf of “stereotypical” feminists. it negates what so many women/womyn/queers/people of color/allies (myself included) work hard to combat and change in punk and in the music industry and in the world.

it seems really careless.

mariel ruined my life in college. i will (maybe) never get over the awful things she did to me.

actually i will go into a bit further detail with this, even though i’ve posted about this several times over the years.

- she terrorized, harassed, and bullied me so that i was too scared to ever come home to our shared dorm room (that i’m still in debt for) for an entire school year. she made posts on live journal explaining that this was a thing she did very intentionally to not have to share a room with anyone.

- called me a cunt (for no reason) all over the internet/to her friends/boyfriend

- shared extremely private pictures of me with all her friends for laughs

the idea of her being a truly heartfelt *feminist* now is just really comical to me. she’s like avril lavigne. it’s rare that i would ever be like WHAT A POSER to ANYONE (because who careS?), but jesus christ. yeah, it’s been years but she seems no different to me at all.

anyway she’s been writing/involved with articles like this for a while too and they’re always really ridiculously unhelpful/poorly thought out. i’m glad people are saying something!


A very interesting (and long-ish) interview, not in the least because of discussing fashion from a feminist/punk perspective for much of it (as an aside, the question above struck me as odd, since for me hardcore - or at least post-hardcore - is very much about visual aesthetics. But how much that is really typical and is engaged with critically, I can’t say)

when i went to see perfect pussy i was wearing a lolita dress and meredith braided my hair

***Flawless (feat. Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche)



lol every once in awhile i go through my tumblr posts and delete things/make things private because this blog has existed during unflattering periods of my life. anyway here is a semi-edited (i only took out a few words/ranty sentences) version of That Thing that happened at go bar at dance back the night a few years ago:

Read More

dance back the night is mysteriously always the worst. i wrote something about my shitty experiences a couple years back (a different dance back the night than this one) it involved one of the performers talking about what a bitch his ex-girlfriend was. 

i feel kind of like i have a responsibility to get involved with dance back the night as a women’s studies student who knows a lot of people in bands but i just already have such bad associations with it and i feel like other people do too. that’s a super cop-out reason.

Los Campesinos! - Miserabilia
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Los Campesinos! - Miserabilia


There’s been a post going around tumblr lately about the twee male gaze and let me tell you: I feel you. ‘cos twee, although not a perfect descriptor for Los Campesinos! but certainly close enough, is all mixed up with connotations of emosogyny and mansplaining and a culture of indie elitism. If you’ve read earlier Los Campesinos! interviews, Gareth is fucking rampant with it. Most explicitly on the latter charge, but you gotta wonder about a guy who comes from that scene and his preoccupation with all them girls what done ‘im wrong.

It’s a good thing above author jakec doesn’t contribute to that culture by, say, using katydidnot’s words without proper attribution. 

lol nick beat me to the reblog i was thinking about. but yes: if you’re referencing not just like, ~a broader conversation~, but what you yourself say is a specific post, it’s bad manners, to put it charitably, not to link to that post (or even name the author!). when it’s a dude ostensibly writing about dude grossness, not-naming the woman who at this point has done a fair amount of work intelligently identifying and exploring the particular breed of dude grossness in question? maaaajor side-eye, to say the least.

(also everyone should click the link to read katydidnot talking about the twee male gaze, i don’t even really care about twee but her stuff is great.)

hahahaha, oh my fucking god you guys 


anyway this is irritating because also he is dismissing the entire genre as twee male gaze/twee dude feelings which totally fucking ignores the fact that twee music is much more inviting for women to participate than most scenes. like, did you learn about the twee scene only from reading my twee male gaze posts (and not like, my other posts) my point isn’t “TWEE MUSIC IS INHERENTLY PRETTY SEXIST, ON ACCOUNT OF IT BEING TWEE MUSIC” which you seem to think it is; my point is “twee music thinks it’s not sexist, but unfortunately, like all music it is,” and you are totally undermining my point if you write something that just takes at face value that everyone knows how sexist the twee scene is. 

I loved seeing people defending Katy on my dash, mostly because DEFEND KATY is my #1 political/moral/emotional stance on this earth and I never get to apply it because pretty much everyone is always nice to Katy because she’s the best person in the world. Mostly I get to be mad when people rip her off, or are wrong about twee stuff, so it’s cool to get to be mad about both happening at once. ANYWAY, at first I was like “hey Katy can I reblog that conversation in DEFENSE OF GARETH,” and I was joking but I realized I actually have a lot to say about how Gareth interacts with twee cliches, at least through the second album? So I’m gonna write some stuff about that. A lot of my interface with what Katy writes about—although, like, I have an enviable Krecs stash myself, and paid my Sarah dues, whatever—comes from a punk background, and mostly a pop punk background, and we have a lot of discussions about where what she is talking about meets what I talk about. (So, like, a lot of KRS, a lot of eighties pop punk/bay area punk, MTX especially, nineties alt punk and geek punk, etc.) (A thing I would call a defining quality of Katy is that you can be like “hey do you know any twee songs about x?” she can draw up a giant list like, immediately, with extensive footnotes, and I am the same when it comes to dumb punk and pop punk, and I think that’s one of the reasons we are kindred.) ANYWAY, needless to say, Los Camp is one of the only bands that I have ever called My Favorite Band that could also theoretically be called a Twee Band (although, not really), so I find my unique qualifications to be very useful here, in arguing about Gareth. I just think if you are reading Hold On Now (in particular) in terms of the sensitive dickwad twee archetype—and I am not saying Gareth isn’t a sensitive twee dickwad, at all—then you should also be reading it in terms of what he has to say about that, as an archetype. Which isn’t a sophisticated argument, even? But it’s also a really easy one, soo… Anyway, that’s all I have to say—although I will say more, before long.

Mostly I just wanted to publicly take issue with this (and like, I WOULD, but stay with me here)

So what if he’s got girls in his band? I grew up with only women for family members and that didn’t stop me being a little asshole in my formative years. Thank god I found NOFX and transferred all my anger towards Bush and THE SYSTEM; if I’d found Los Campesinos! a few years earlier I might’ve just started wearing cardigans, cosy in Gareth’s validation.

Okay, I understand that this is an easy shorthand, and I fully grasp that it’s in reference to “I had a Not My President shirt in 2004,” which, fine. But, like, as a career defender of pop punk as Maybe Not As Sexist As You’d Think, NOFX is WAY MORE SEXIST THAN LOS CAMPESINOS, LIKE ARE YOU SERIOUS. (They might even be more sexist than Belle & Sebastian??)

Listen, I think the twee-cardigan as subcultural-fedora is a good observation and I think it’s pretty cool that indie dudes en masse are starting to unmask that bullshit, but are we really fetishizing FAT MIKE’s unabashed-no-holds-barred-fucking-misogyny as the noble alternative to pretending you’re not sexist? Like, I might have employed this strategy in the past, but I’m a woman??? Like, I am less sexist because I grew up listening to the guy who wrote such classics as

It’s that time of the month,
Again, you’re bitching,
Stop yelling at me.
I know you’ve got to plug yourself up,
But why take it out on me?
Just leave me alone,
Stop yelling at me,
Leave me alone,
When it’s your time to bleed.


You’re at a party, the girls are lame
But it’s Friday night, you want to get laid
So you beer bong down, six Meister Brau
And the Girls don’t look so bad to you now
They’re all
Six pack girls
So you pick her up and bring her home
And stick your pop in her slop
Wake up the next morning
and show her the bus stop

Like, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. “I’m not sexist because I grew up listening to NOFX.” (*bonus points for the fact that they are a favorite white supremacist band, but w/e.) I guess that knowledge explains this:

I assume everyone, like me, immediately imagines walking in on their most beloved/despised ex and someone prettier making out to the sound of “You! Me! Dancing!”

which, like, no, I think that just makes you creepy as fuck but whatever.

Anyway, I really like the “emosygyny” statement and I wish that could be explored a little more because I think that’s actually where a lot of this stuff originates in Gareth’s work, and I’m fascinated (and baffled) by the choice to source in it Sarah Records or Belle & Sebastian—not to mention the choice to paraphrase someone else’s work on sexism in twee and completely ignore the role of women in those contexts—IE, THE MOST IMPORTANT ORIGINATORS OF THE GENRE.

Like, every time I talk about Los Camp in the context of “twee” Katy gets mad at me because it isn’t really fair. I mean, they’re a lot more like Fall Out Boy, really.

i never listened to los campesinos because louise didn’t like them when they first made music but i am not politically opposed to them, i am way politically opposed to that writer though. 


About once a week, I read something on the internet that makes my blood boil. Today it was this article in the Riverfront Times, the St. Louis alternative weekly.

This article reads like instructions on how to spoil a young child beyond all possibility of repair; it sounds like a step-by-step…

this is so bad. y’all should click the link and read it all. the terribleness of the original article is made much better with excellent commentary. relevant to my athens friends, many of which are girls who play music dating boys who play music. 

It’s that time of year again—time to pay attention to the men who rock, FOR A CHANGE! Everyone knows that there is nothing sexier (or more rare) than a man who knows how to rock. Being a gorgeous man in music is one thing, but add talent to the mix? That’s taking it to a whole ‘nother level. With male-fronted bands, male solo acts, and even all-male bands becoming more and more commonplace, 2012 has definitely been the year of fierce men in music. They’re starting to rock all the genres, too: provocative punks, steamy rock ‘n’ rollers, dashing cowboy sweethearts, hiphop hunks—men are even making it in the complicated world of electronic music! Guys everywhere are stepping to the front and demanding to be heard—and we’re ready to listen. And look! To show our appreciation for the strong males who provide us with satisfying doses of ear candy and eye candy, we handpicked six of Seattle’s hottest male musicians to showcase their ability… to turn us on!

omg, the side articles

A dude could write, “I threw up everywhere but there was no toilet paper to wipe my mouth on,” and [guy]’d feel sympathy. We have to fucking bleed every month in order to populate the world and the least men could do is remember the fucking toilet paper.


In response to how I recently wrote a lil thing for Tom Tom Magazine (on the internets) (find it if you want) and talked about aforementioned experience at punk space with no toilet paper while on my period, and a dude I know commented on a link to it saying “TMI.”

(via marieyall)

i tried to find this to go into facebook girl gang mode but i couldn’t find it. good work though all involved.